pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
The power of my boobs compel you
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize