I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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