True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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