dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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