at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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