At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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