we have officially mastered the walk of shame
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
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