google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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