problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
