**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize