is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
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