I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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