ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
smell my finger.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
