Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
