Are we in a gay sports bar?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
