oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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