Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
