I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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