i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
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