My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
