another moral hangover. fuck.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
My dick has a subreddit
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
