At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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