can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
