summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
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The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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