I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
