I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
