she was so not down for the gang bang
you will always have a special place in my vag
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
