I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
