I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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