First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
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True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
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You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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