So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Randomize
