our cab driver is having phone sex.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
