You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
