Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
