Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
