i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
