I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
