she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
