so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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