Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
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