she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
