It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The power of my boobs compel you
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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