i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
