hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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