the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Randomize