I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
