its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
