Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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