Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
third nipple confirmed
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
