could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
