So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
