Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Small penises have feelings too.
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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