I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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