I hate all girls vehemently.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
