I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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