i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
