Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize