So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
