she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
